Lifting each other up: How to support a colleague with low confidence at work
- The Office Elf
- Jul 11
- 2 min read
In many workplaces, especially in small teams; our work is deeply personal.
We care, we invest, and we want to do it well.
But even the most capable people can struggle with self-confidence from time to time.
And when that happens, a supportive colleague can make all the difference.
You don’t need to be a manager or mentor to help.
You just need to notice and care.
Signs a colleague might be struggling with confidence:
They second-guess their decisions or defer to others often.
They downplay their accomplishments (“It was nothing…”).
They hesitate to share ideas or speak up in meetings.
They over-apologize for things that aren't mistakes.
Sound familiar? Here’s how you can gently and respectfully offer support:
1. See them clearly and say it out loud
Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is name what you see in them.
Focus on specific strengths.
Make it personal, not performative.
A quiet compliment in a chat or quick voice note can mean the world.
2. Celebrate the small stuff
People with low confidence often brush off their own wins.
Don’t let them.
Share their success in a team chat.
Forward client praise with a note: “You made this possible.”
Mark milestones, even if small: “That system you built is still saving us time.”
Little moments of recognition build internal evidence that says: You’re doing great. Keep going.
3. Offer encouragement without fixing
Confidence isn’t about being rescued; it’s about feeling supported.
Instead of jumping in with solutions, try:
“You’ve got a great instinct for this, trust it.”
“Let me know if you want to talk it through, I’m happy to listen.”
“This kind of thing is tricky. You’re not the only one who’s felt unsure here.”
Normalize the wobbles. We all have them.
4. Create safe space to try (and mess up)
Perfectionism can be a confidence killer.
If you have influence over the culture, even just in your own little corner, model and encourage:
Process over perfection
Learning from mistakes
Asking questions without shame
Let them see that you don’t have it all figured out either.
5. Keep your support quiet, consistent, and real
Not everyone wants a pep rally.
For some, quiet reinforcement over time is more meaningful than a one-time boost.
A regular check-in.
A thank you.
A moment of acknowledgment when no one else notices.
That’s leadership too.
Confidence doesn’t always come from within.
Sometimes, it’s built through community, through others reminding us who we are and what we’re capable of.
If you’re reading this, you’re probably already that kind of teammate.
Keep going.
You make work feel safer, kinder, and stronger for all of us.
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